Monday, December 19, 2016

Monday Menaces

Things I hate...
1) Spiders
2) Mushrooms
3) Tomatoes
4) Barry Manilow
5) Not being able to wear sneakers everyday
6) Giada DeLaurentiis
7) Not having my water bottle with me
8) The word "moist."
9) Complaining
10) Speaking of... I'm annoying myself so I'll cut this short.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Relationship advice from a couples counselor...

Though I specialize in PTSD, over the years I have treated my fair number of couples... here is what I have learned in the process...

1. If you have to pick up the book "He's just not that into you." He's not.
2. If you describe your relationship as complicated, it's not. You just don't like your reality. Look at your choices and make one. Typically when "it's complicated" that's because there is dishonesty in the mix. If you find yourself uttering these words, LEAVE.
3. Be the person you want your child or future child to date.
4. Date the quality of person you want your child or future child to date.
5. What you see is what you get. Don't make excuses.
6. If you find yourself saying "It's complicated" "You don't understand" etc. You're in denial and need to terminate.
7. If you don't feel like a priority, you aren't. Stop making excuses. If you were a priority, you would know it.
8. Don't have serious conversations via text.
9. Therapy works. Sometimes it works to heal old wounds and bring the couple together, sometimes it works to amicably break up.
10. Sometimes the children will come first, sometimes the partner and sometimes you. Balance. Make sure you have it.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Thursday Thoughts

Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroad. We don't know what to do, what choice to make or where to go.

In those moments, it may be helpful to assume the worst. If the worst happens, what would I have wished I'd have done.

And then go forth.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Thoughts I have in spinning class...

Thoughts I have in spinning class…

1. This is going to be awesome.
2. A climb?!? Already?!?
3. I ate way too many carbs yesterday.
4. “Bring it down to a 9-10-11…” What? Where the hell does s/he think I was???
5. I love this song!
6. She has a great ass.
7. Oh thank god, s/he said to bring it down to a 6. I do love 6.
8. Sprints. Shit.
9. I did not eat enough carbs for this yesterday.
10. Is it the Connect song yet?
11. Yes! Bar song!
12. I should really try the 6 lb bar.
13. Oh crap, I should not have tried the 6 lb bar.
14. We sound like Whales with the “Yips” and the “Woots” answering each other.
15. Dear god, kill me.
16. I need a better sports bra.
17. YES! Connect! Should be two more songs.
18. WTF, you added another song.
20. It’s over?!? Damn. That was such a badass class!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

IPS CycleBar Style

I have been struggling with weight for the last 5 years. I refuse to struggle for the next 5. I’ve been a runner for the last 25 and have hated every mile. Enter my friend Jayme who introduced me to Cycle Bar when it opened in Northville in August. I’ve been a devotee ever since. Yes, I realize I can ride my bike in my home gym and crank my own tunes which I previously have done with minimal success. It is now the end of November, I’m down 17 pounds, 3 sizes and am enjoying this journey and the perspective this team has provided me in the process.

As I was “connecting” in Nicole’s class this week several thoughts were going through my head resulting in the rest of this blog post…There is something to be said of the familial yet club atmosphere that Cycle Bar Northville has developed. It’s no secret that their success stems largely from their Cycle Stars...

Ray: He's an instructor that the last 10 minutes of every class you swear you'll never return and then you leave and worship him because he forced you to step up. He believes he's the best and you leave agreeing and knowing he's forced you to be your best.

Nicole is the instructor you know you want as a friend. If you're in a bar fight she's going to be the entourage member who steps up and throws down. She’s a dynamo, fearless and badass. She believes in you and you leave believing in you.

Shannon is strangely statuesque for being pint size. She drops solid beats and devilishly challenges you motivating you with her moves and her manners. Shannon eats sleeps and breathes fitness and her physique and aura will inspire you.

Students new to spinning can be easily intimidated and anxious. Walking into Renee's class her personality and demeanor immediately instill trust and her coaching encourages dedication to the sport, life and yourself. She is breathtaking and awe-inspiring.

Heidi is elusive. She along with Renee is a member of the Dawn and Dirty club which rises and rocks out at 5:45am. Her inspiring and creative spirit mixes masterful playlists and thought I'm not fortunate enough to ride in her morning gang, her enthusiasm is infectious and reminds you of a BFF who you'd trust with your life.

Katie is the ringmaster also known as the Manager of Cycle Bar and a Cycle Star. Her personality is larger than life and charisma inimitable. Her classes are a dance party that inspires you to work while loving life. Her motivational speeches during connect rival psychotherapy sessions and her self-deprecating humor is the right touch of comic relief as you think you are about to die from her $#@%ing / challenging sprints.

This crew as a collective whole create a team where it doesn't matter what class you end up in, I sign up based on times not instructors. In the end I come to work my ass off, to lose weight, and transform my body, but actually leave inspired, encouraged, and a better me than 50 minutes prior.

Life isn't always what we want. Cycle Bar is a portal to getting you where you need to be. Right here, right now, we may not be who or where we want to be, but with a family like this incorporated into your schedule, becoming that person is right around the corner of every ride.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016


“Lou Lou.” The name alone makes me smile much less whom she is as a person, friend, humanitarian, Sevandar and soul. It’s funny that when asked who one of the most inspirational people in her life were, she described an Aunt Missy who she depicted as “unconditional” yet when one looks up unconditional in the dictionary, its’ definition is apropos for Lou Lou as well. “Not subject to conditions…” “…Wholehearted…unlimited…” All adjectives that I would certainly use for LL which is ultimately why I am writing about her as one of my Inspirational People Series.

I met LL exactly 10 years ago while volunteering for a small USMC Service Outreach. I’m not certain if it was her infectious smile, her can-do attitude or the sheer joy in which she provided these services which were often long, hard, stressful and not to mention un-paid.
Aside from her personality, charm and work ethic, I love how LL is beyond humble. She is one of a few people who when I have earnestly thanked them for being them, her response is “I don’t know how to not be me.”

But how did LL become LL? Apparently it was a long hard battle and one she openly discusses without inviting sympathy. She has survived it all, abuse across the spectrum, the divide of family, but through it all she not only persevered but thrived. She knows that I have many readers of this blog across ages, races and backgrounds; many of whom may be struggling in this current political transition… I asked her how she has so much hope for the here, now and future. “There’s always hope. You do have the power to change. Don’t give up. 1980 was the worst year of my life. You get tunnel vision; you can’t see that it will end. But everything does, and that did too.”
I wish I was able to hang out with LL more. She is an exquisite soul. One who has a calming yet energizing vibe to her, a walk that struts to her own beat and someone who eats, breathes and lives Seva.

*Seva also Sewa, short for the word Karseva refers to "selfless service," work or service performed without any thought of reward or personal benefit. In the Punjabi language the person performing such service is called a Sevadar. (

Friday, November 11, 2016


1. Coffee
2. Spinning (Shout Out to CycleBar Northville!)
3. Ava Cakes and Fuzzy
4. Anything Furry (Black Kitty & Grey Kitty top that list)

5. Our family engagement photos.

6. Our wedding... you can see the video in an earlier blog post.
7. Bacon
8. My sisters

9. This meme...

10. My job...

11. My friends...

12. Focusing on the positive even though I put the ass in classy.

13. The number 13.